Day 37

Wow . . . the time is now flying by.  I have been very busy at work and between that and the errands I have felt like my time is all spoken for -- not in a bad way, just in a "I don't have time to kill" way.  I am not sure if this is a totally fair statement, but it feels like I haven't really been this busy at any other time during this process -- it was just my head that told me that I had no time to practice yoga or do my meditations.  The funny thing is though, my lack of getting any practice in isn't making me feel like a failure.  I don't think its because I have stopped caring, but I am coming into a place of acceptance, and that feels really great.

I was able to be present more throughout the day today, and life has a funny way of bopping you on the head with this presence.  This morning on the Metro the gentleman standing in front of me kept banging into me with his bag.  I started getting mad at his obliviousness and standing firmer in my position so as not to give way to the pressure of his bag.  I was getting all hot and bothered when the train cleared out and he took a seat next to me.  Ironically enough, when he sat down he pulled out Baron's other book "Journey Into Power," turned to the first page, and began reading.  I wanted to laugh, cry, and introduce myself to the guy.  How funny that I had created this whole story about him being rude, insensitive, and oblivious and he was looking to the same yogi for guidance and strength during his journey.  I create so many stories, and excuses, and justifications and just plain BS.  I was humbled to realize on an ordinary metro ride how much of my life I create in my head and how much I am willing to judge so quickly. . . . I guess I need to practice more nonreactivity!! 

My fatigue seems different this last day or two as well - I am worn out tired, not just bored tired.  My brain has been up and working since 6am and now its blissfully ready for bed.  There has been a spring in my step that was joyful throughout the day and now its just time to shut down and reboot.

So good night, sleep tight
Namaste,
Clare