Day 21

Today was the first day of the fruit fast and, so far, so good.  I feel a little bit like the caterpillar in the children's  book - the one who keeps eating and eating more fruit as the days go on - turns out he is eating so much so he can store up his energy and spin a cocoon and become a butterfly. Maybe after these three days I will transform into a butterfly too?  Its a thought.  In any case, I feel like I am eating a lot but honestly, not as much as I expected.  Today's fruit count: 2 avocados, 1 1/2 tomatoes, 1 (giant) apple, 1 pear, 1 banana, 1 1/4 cups pineapple, 1/2 cup raspberries, and 16 oz miso soup . . . ok it sounds like a lot more when you write it all out haha.  I haven't really been as hungry as I thought I would be but my stomach has been making some different gurgling noises and I feel really bloated.  I imagine this is just part of the process; so no judgment.

I am definitely struggling with the meditation part of this process.  In general the time commitment has been hard but especially the meditation.  I am finding it a bit harder to commit to sitting still for now 20 minutes twice a day than it is to commit to doing a physical activity like yoga.  I also worry that I might be starting to fall asleep while I meditate?  I just feel so lulled away by the time the buzzer goes off and today, after my morning meditation, I was so so sleepy!  It felt like I had been woken up in the middle of a nap.  Boo.  I am going to try harder tomorrow to get the meditation done pre-shower so that maybe the morning routine will wake me up more so I am not so sleepy.  I have lots to do tomorrow already on my desk! 

My parting thought for the evening is this -- ever notice how when you try to avoid something in pops up in your face?  I have never been a sweets person, I don't even have food cravings really, but today all I could think about was what food I wanted.  I wanted chocolate, candy, gum, mints, chips, even nuts.  Anything that I knew was in reach I was tempted to grab.   I ended up munching on my apple all afternoon as a way to almost suppress the cravings for non-fruit food.  It was hilarious in some ways how my mind was bound and determined to get me to go back to my normal routine; to give up on what this fruit fast and return to its comfort zone of carbs, Coke, and protein . . . mmmm protein.  Ever seen those Weight Watchers commercials with the little orange monster that represents your inner cravings and the voice you need to silence?  Mine wasn't as cute but as equally hilarious in its efforts to get its way.  Hmmm what should I name him/her?  I have a feeling he/she will be back again tomorrow.  I must be n the lookout.

Namaste,
Clare