Day 20

Wow -- how did we get to Day 20 already? I can't believe it has gone by so fast.  They say it takes 20 days to break a habit so it will be interesting to sit and reflect a bit on what patterns and habits in my life have changed over the last three weeks.  I know some things much be changing because today, even though I had friends coming over to watch football with us, I left to go do my yoga at the studio.  I was so proud of myself and amazed in some ways by how little resistance there was to skipping my usual butt-on-couch-beer-in-hand football watching.  Yes, I didn't really want to go and needed a brief push out the door from Brad, but I didn't have such an inner dialogue about how I shouldn't or couldn't go to the class.  Yeah!

I also did 5 Wheels in class today!!! (See http://i.ehow.com/images/GlobalPhoto/Articles/4869895/151204-main_Full.jpg if you don't know what Wheel pose is)  I was totally psyched - I have never managed more than 3 wheels in any class.  I also went to the studio for class on Saturday and learned Bird of Paradise (See http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3208/3141250027_0627661ce9.jpg) which I had never done before.  So it was a week full of firsts in yoga - of finding my strength even though I felt like I had done most of this week half-heartedly.  Its true what everyone has been saying, so many of the obstacles and problems in life are purely mental.  You don't really believe, or even want to believe, how strong you really are.  I am not quite sure what I gain by not believing fully in myself.  I spend so much time and energy reminding myself of my failures and remembering how I am not capable to do whatever it is that is set out before me -- whether we are talking about a pose in yoga or a challenge at work.  I am not sure what the doubt does to serve me -- so many of us have it -- how does it serve any of us?  I have been journaling a lot about this.  Trying to figure out how leading my life with so much fear and doubt is getting me to the life that I want to lead.  If I gain any insight I will be sure to let you all know ;)

Tomorrow starts the 3 day fruit fast - I only get to eat fruit: berries, apples, melons, bananas, pears etc.  I am both terrified at how hungry I may be and exhilarated at how purifying everyone says this type of cleanse is.  I will keep you posted.

Namaste,
Clare