Day 11

A few hours late on yesterday's post - sorry folks.

I have been thinking a lot about the concept of discipline lately.  How is it that people force themselves to work out everyday? To get up every morning to do something which is in large part unnecessary to their daily survival just because they said they would.  That kind of commitment baffles me.  Is that kind of discipline just innate in some people more so than others? As animals, why do humans even have the capability for discipline? I am reminded of various kung-fu/Rocky type movies where the hero seems to be unflappable in his pursuit of skill, inner peace, and fine-tuning his god-like strength. 

I don't so much have the Rocky discipline but wonder where one finds it? Or maybe its why one finds it?  While in some respects I have been surprised at my own ability to stick out this process as long as I have, I am also disappointed in my own lack of discipline.  I don't so much spring out of bed every morning with meditation and yoga on the brain.  Sometimes I drag myself and get it done in the wee hours of the day.  But most mornings I have been cramming my meditation in (sometimes doing so on the Metro) and then coming home and trying to make a space in the evening hours for the yoga.  The pre-bedtime meditation has been the easiest part thus far!  I don't want to take away the fact that I have, for the most part, gotten the practices and meditation in -- I don't want to dis-empower myself or minimize that success-- but I am surprised by how erratic everything has been.  For a girl who likes routine so much, who finds comfort in TV schedules because they seem to bring a consistency and order to a life that otherwise often feels out of control, I have been really lacking the discipline I imagined I would have to make this journey fit into some sort of routine in my life.

So where does discipline come from? Does it come from the ancients beliefs that it made you closer to god? Is it an inherent part of our DNA as human beings? Why, or perhaps more importantly, how do we discipline ourselves?  What motivates you to keep going without falling victim to some negative internal dialogue where you beat up on yourself for failing to meet some goal you set-out for yourself?  Just wondering :)

Ok, off to work - more tonight!

Namaste,
Clare